That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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