I looked at my own cervix.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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