Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
