Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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