i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize