Tell her she can't have a vagina
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
