An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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