I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I will be naked everywhere
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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