so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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