I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
