I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
