Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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