Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I believe in your delicious
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
