I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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