So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
