i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
