do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
