i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
is wine microwaveable?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
