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I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
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