I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
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Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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