Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
