dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
