We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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