ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im holly from the hills drunk
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
