ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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