So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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