i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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