ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's no shave November. This is our time.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
