Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
