Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
