real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
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Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
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Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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