I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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