Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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