The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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