Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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