This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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