would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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