i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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