I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize