my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
