just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We're too hungover to prance.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
