Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
