from now on my penis is your penis
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
