he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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