Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
