It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
