I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize