don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She even gives head with a lisp.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
