So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
