Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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