this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
