I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
