I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize