I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
