apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
