yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
