Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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