her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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