do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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