I just pynch a tree in the face
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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