I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
