Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
