where am i from again
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
