Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
