I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
